Love and solitude are real feelings?

 

 Discussing love and loneliness/solitude with you (if you want to discuss something that's been on your mind, some fear that needs to be understood, just contact me on Instagram @mariasangrenta.art!) many of you see loneliness as something that shouldn't exist and think it's a bad thing to live alone, always focused on the unhappiness of never having someone to share your moments with. Others see it as something that doesn't exist. For me, who doesn't understand much about love (in the general sense, beyond the romantic. I can never write anything about love) love is something that barely needs to exist to be what it is, but it needs clarity to avoid becoming a dangerous obsession that is something that combines with your inability to accept a no, to be alone with your own company for longer even though you can't stand it anymore, and that's why you're looking for love. So that it doesn't become your life's goal (there's nothing wrong with seeking relationships but turning the "lack" of love into a goal will mess with your head and even inhibit you from perceiving love) so that love doesn't become something obligatory.

 Solitude/loneliness are "paradises" that you need to master, a certain control over what exactly you want: do you live alone because you want to and enjoy it, or is it because you have a negative self-image, recognize that you can't get along with others, or have never truly had the opportunity to love, to talk, or to be loved enough to avoid resorting to solitude or loneliness? But anyway, are both real, splendid, and perfect feelings, as they're always said to be, inevitable things, or are they just defense mechanisms, natural for coexistence and existence? For example, love is one of the things that keeps people alive. It builds the will to live and, in a way, a good moral outlook (part of it, in this case), like realizing that no universe is against you, or that 100% of people aren't bad, and that they're innocent of your problems. Love is also the equivalent of self-love, a defense against insignificance and the inability to accept failure, etc. It's a bodily mechanism to keep the mind whole and focused, while the mind keeps the body alive. Love is something "forced" (but not malicious) so that you can survive and live. And if you don't already have a full vision of yourself, the love that remains, romantic or even familial, will be something you'll eternally seek but will always be insufficient and/or something you humiliate yourself for (like toxic and absurd loves) to be loved. To be able to exist. 

 Solitude can often be denied because it always seems like a bad thing, and as I said, I notice that many focus on the unhappiness of not having anyone to share it with, as if that were what defines solitude. Solitude is the pleasure of living alone, not the need to live or love. Loneliness often comes without meaning, with others' gratuitous hatred for you, where only they know the reason and you don't. While solitude is something you choose, you learn that it's better, but it doesn't prevent you from loving or being loved. Many people aren't meant to be with others; many can't even talk and try so hard to the point of being boring, like me. Solitude is another kind of love, a love that allows you to better focus on life itself, on your own thoughts, and even to accept your own solitude so that you don't feel uncomfortable with the very body or mind that keeps you alive.

So love is not even a perfect feeling, and it's neither solitude nor loneliness. Those feelings are something that even spiritually breaks you if you can't have a good image of yourself and of the world and the patience to be able to love all of this (don't expect things to happen instantly), but it's also something that can help you build your psyche and your art.